Hit the Back Button to Move Fwd

costume conversations

today at church i wore my pastor collar. this might not be a big deal to most, but i'm not ordained so wearing a collar is not a norm. however, i knew i was going to be spending time at the pumpkin patch, as well as a youth halloween party, so i dressed up in my collar to see what reactions i'd get.

working the pumpkin patch was great, i got a number 'sirs' and pleasant faces as many were strangers to our church, so they don't know if i am clergy or not. one conversation stands out best though.

[just sold pumpkins, had pleasant conversation about the weather]

man: so are you going to dress up tonight?
me: no, i figured i'd just go like this. the uniform can be scary to a lot of people anyways.
man: you're right about that! {smile} have a nice night

it's a witch!!

so apparently i gain inspiration from monty python when i am pissed about the church... i had this scene run through my head today. can you guess why?

CROWD: A witch! A witch! A witch! We've got a witch! A witch!
VILLAGER #1: We have found a witch, might we burn her?
CROWD: Burn her! Burn!
BEDEVERE: How do you know she is a witch?
VILLAGER #2: She looks like one.
BEDEVERE: Bring her forward.
WITCH: I'm not a witch. I'm not a witch.
BEDEVERE: But you are dressed as one.
WITCH: They dressed me up like this.
CROWD: No, we didn't -- no.
WITCH: And this isn't my nose, it's a false one.
BEDEVERE: Well?
VILLAGER #1: Well, we did do the nose.
BEDEVERE: The nose?
VILLAGER #1: And the hat -- but she is a witch!
CROWD: Burn her! Witch! Witch! Burn her!
BEDEVERE: Did you dress her up like this?
CROWD: No, no... no ... yes. Yes, a bit, a bit.
VILLAGER #1: She has got a wart.
BEDEVERE: What makes you think she is a witch?
VILLAGER #3: Well, she turned me into a newt.
BEDEVERE: A newt?
for a full reading of the scene

the verdict is in

so today the umc judicial council reversed a successful appeal to have rev. beth stroud reinstated, thus upholding the original judgment by the pennsylvania conference almost a year ago.

i've mentioned rev. stroud, and her case, a time or two before (here, here, here, here)

many friends are talking about the decisions today, which i'd encourage you to read:

• updated: jonathon gives my favorite take, a youth ministers take
• updated: mike gives a nice pre-decision call
• shane gives an update, *only engage in the comments if you have extra time on your hands (and a lot of patience, imho). he is sure to give a more thought out response in the coming days, which i look forward to hearing
• dean, is upset by the decisions, it seems he is most upset with the pastor who kept someone from becoming a member of the church is being reinstated
• cole has a conversation going which is disheartening
• jay is really pissed

i'm confused, not with the stroud decision, that seemed a bit closer to doctrine as the 'practicing' of homosexuality was not clearly defined in winning the appeal. however, the part of giving a pastor sole authority to allow membership seems completely out of line with doctrine and methodism.

to argue that one i always felt that our open communion was a powerful statement, now it is that we can give you that which is most sacred to us as Christians, but you just can't become one of our community if our pastor doesn't agree. thus eliminating the discernment & power of the laity of that community to bring in those who wish to find Christ. made even more insane with our itinerary system, pastors could have lasting affects on congregations completely against congregations wishes. this is short sighted and a bad move. if we wanted to reinstate rev. ed johnson then go ahead, with some warning or whatever, but don't pave the way that pastors are now the gatekeepers to the umc... or maybe they are and they are not telling

homosexuality, sin, & whatever analogy we use under the sun: let's hear both sides: revisited2

thanks to all for contributing to this continuation of thoughts brought on by listening first & then providing some responses in hopes to find a spiritual reflection in a conversation that seems so often polarizing.

i remember having a conversation with my father somewhere in my 20's (not that my 20's was a long time ago). my dad, someone whom i have the highest respect for, had made some statements that expressed how he had trouble being spiritually nourished by a female pastor. i couldn't really understand that my dad had expressed this, my dad, who in my opinion is a very enlightened thinker. it blew me away. as we continued to talk i sorta figured out that it wasn't so much about female pastor-ship in general, but more of one particular pastor whom he had trouble identifying with.

when i started blogging i had this cool service to my blog, "stats." with my stats i could see the avenues where people found my blog, from other blogs to google searches. i was sorta amazed & amused by the things that people searched to find my blog. one of the searches that caught my attention was "henri nouwen homosexual." huh? was henri gay? my regular readers know of the influence henri nouwen has had in helping to sort my spiritual life. this naturally was something that i had to come to understand, was someone so influential to me gay?

i followed the links & read some articles (i can't remember what actual sites they were). some were slanted, but some seemed honest and credible sources that suggested that nouwen was indeed gay. it was not the issue we find in the church today as he was a catholic minister, thus unable to marry or participate in romantic relationships (thus trumping the 'practicing' homosexual argument). so for the most part, nouwen's sexuality was not something that people had to agree or disagree with, it was more or less a moot point. in this instance, for me, i needed to find some clarity. i found myself contemplating all that i had learned from this man. does what he taught me still stand up?

in silence and prayer i asked, what did henri teach me about prayer? this seems legitimate still, it's not like he's the only one who talked this way, it's more or less his words helped to make it tangible for me. his observations on life & faith, which helped to open my eyes to God's movements around me. does this now have less of God's movements? what would have been my relationship with nouwen if i had known him to be gay all along?

to my questions, i found an answer. the answer i found was that it didn't matter.

the possible homosexuality, real or not, of one of the influential figures of my spiritual life was not going to become a changing factor all of a sudden. the relationship (albeit a 2 dimensional relationship through numerous readings) was still there. the garnered incites were still insightful. the practices of my faith influenced i was still practicing. why should it matter now, all of a sudden, if an influential figure took on a new label?

it does matter though. it did take some internal wrangling with me, whom i happen to consider myself to be highly intelligent and profoundly wise. &:~D so it must be tough for others right?  i come back to my dad. note: we have not actually had this conversation, but i use our mentioned conversation to help draw some parallels that are potentially unfair but potentially similar to my dad & others. my dad, who has grown within a context that the spiritual leaders have exuded a masculinity & been male has a struggle with breaking from that context. he's certainly okay with female pastor-ship, but i doubt he'll be spiritually lead as he might from his traditional understanding of male pastor-ship. it's just that he prefers that original context, it's comfortable, familiar, safe.

today's world still struggles with the gender of pastors in areas and with denominations. to now throw in another dynamic of sexuality will only put more people at un-ease. the comfort levels have been pushed, the familiar of what one knew has changed, the unknown puts one into a place of fear where a fight or flight can surface to ensure a psychological safe. is this where we are at?

can a homosexual, practicing or non-practicing, be a spiritual leader? i'm inclined to say "yes" & "no." yes, because someone who is faithful to their calling & connection to God cannot be dismissed because of sexual practice or orientation. they are able to be as inspiring as any other pastor to an individual. no, because as we are still evolving in our understanding of what it means to follow Christ we do have our levels of comfort to help us to understand these meanings. one of those is having a context that we are not in direct or indirect conflict with. a silly analogy: it's like navigating a trail while questioning the trail map, that's just a tough one to get through. this isn't a great answer, actually it's not an answer at all if you determine answers as a final solution, but faithful to this conversation we are naming the aspects that seem important.

emergent radio

apparently there is talk of a satalite radio broadcast with some of the emergent thinkers. this could be a very cool thing. i'm curious to know if it would be only satalite radio or would be streamed over the internet (that way i could actually listen to it).

any way you look at it. i'd be relieved to hear some different voices over the radio waves. politcal radio turned me off years ago, so it's either sports radio or silence. generally i prefer silence.

1st anni

today i celebrate 367 days of blogging. for those who want to do the math, that means that yesterday was my 1st anniversary of 'the blog.' this from my first post

over the future days i will hope to share my thoughts and experiences on a clear need for church to recognize a change from cultural influences on the church to reclaiming the mysteries of spiritual growth born in the traditions of early church, desert fathers and mothers and monastic discipline. i am looking forward to it.. and again.. i hope i don't bore..

Hit the Back Button to Move Fwd was my attempt, as i've chronicled in this past year, to share some of my "profound thoughts." as you can see from my title and first write up, the title comes from who i am and ideals of what we should be considering as a cultural and spiritual community.

however, 'Hit the Back Button to Move Fwd" has become much more of my spiritual discipline & avenue for discernment, to which, i am grateful to God for shaping this part of my life into something better than i could have imagined.

this year, i've made a wonderful amount of new friendships and deepened already established relationships. at times, i confuse my girlfriend and family with talk of 'bloggers' or 'a friend i only know of online' but they just sigh and understand that is part of my dorkish-ness now.

thanks to everyone for being a part of my spiritual journey, putting up with me, reading through my inadequate grammar & spelling, & sharing of yourselves with me.

vanity check

found this site to find out how many links you have to your site. www.wholinkstome.com

Who Links Here

day 5: contemplation week with merton

It is doubtless confusing to say the "future of Christianity" is now at stake. What is Christianity? Is it the Church? Is it Christian civilization? The mere clarification of terms would, if it were adequate, require an article to itself. Let us briefly note these most important points, and then pass on.

1. The future of the Church, the Body of Christ, is not in the hands of men. It is not subject to the vagaries of political history. There is and there can be no ambiguity and no uncertainty about the Church's fulfillment of her appointed task on earth. For the Church is Christ himself, present in the world he has redeemed, present in mystery, in poverty, in ways that are a scandal to human wisdom, in modes that confound the clever, the mighty, the affluent and the ruthless leaders of men. Just as "the world" defeated itself in condemning the Lord of glory, so now also worldly power works fro its own confusion and for the establishment of the kingdom of God even when it attacks the kingdom most savagely and, it would seem, with the greatest chance of final success.

2. But taking "Christianity" in a wider sense, we are confronted with a far different situation. Christianity signifies the whole complex of Judeo-Christian attitudes, of beliefs, of culture, ways of life. It signifies all the basic and vital assumptions which have formed the worldview of the West, and on which Western Civilization has been built. More than that, it can even be taken to include implicitly all that is rich and spiritual in all the religious cultures and worldviews in so far as these riches can be understood to be "naturally Christian." ...

In other words, if "Christianity" is destroyed, life in Christ will become a matter of extraordinary heroism, a venture and an unconditional commitment of which very few will be capable, particularly if it means going against the formidable tyrannic compulsions of mass-society.

3. Whether we like it or not, we have to admit we are already living in a post-Christian world, that is to say a world in which Christian ideals and attitudes are relegated more and more to the minority.

It is frightening to realize that the facade of Christianity which still generally survives has perhaps little or nothing behind it, and that what was once called "Christian society" is more purely and simply a materialistic neopaganism with a Christian veneer.

when it comes to peace, as with other societal issues, we must name our influences and from where they come from to find that clarity in decision making. if it is a political decision make it from the view of politics, but if you are to claim "Christianity" then one must speak from the clarity of faith that comes from the "Body of Christ," the mission of the church, & not the influence of man. with some of our current decisions, what are those things that are done out of fear or survival to maintain what we percieve to be a higher spiritual ethic?

It is doubtful for most Christians whether the real underlying religious issue is clearly visible. On the contrary, at least in America, the average priest and minister seems to react in much the same way as the average agnostic or atheist. The interests of the West, NATO, and the Church are all confused with one another, and even the possibility of defending the West with a nuclear first strike on Russia is sometimes accepted without too much hesitation as "necessary" and a "lesser evil." We assume that Western society and Christendom are still identical and that Communism equals Antichrist. And we are ready to declare without hesitation that "no price is too high" to pay for our religious liberty.

update: jonathon has highlighted this, which i think is relevant. relevant in a jonthon norman/jon stewart way.

back on U.S. soil

he's back on U.S. soil today. just received word from tiffany that my little bro is back from his tour in Iraq. i'm so excited i could cry, but i'm in a public place so that might look weird. proud of my bro and our fellow troops he served with. in the spirit of my brother he would say that, there are still others overseas serving & they need your prayers and support even more.

it's a baseball score, but i'm still happy

6-3. it was at first a hockey score, then it became a baseball score. it was though a football game and a very important one here in the south. the score made for a boring football game, unless you like old school defense. however, i loved it all and am relishing my time as a tide fan who lives in tennessee. for those who are long time fans you know that this university of tennessee / university of alabama rivalry is heated. many times it gets lost in the mix of rivalries as it's a steaky rivalry (one usually wins for 5-10 years consecutively each time). this is very sweet as we have lost to ut for the past few years. hopefully it is our turn to go on a streak. we shall see, but having a record at 7-0, bama is back!

day 4: contemplation week with merton

sorry for the break, something came up that i had to attend too.

{having spent quite a bit of time processing origen, machiavelli & his "the prince", Saint Augustine & "just war" theory, and an examination of WWII we find ourselves...}Here we have already one complete cycle. A country begins a defensive "just war." It starts by declaring its firm adherence to the ethical principles held by its Church, and by the majority of its civilian population. The nation accepts unjust suffering heroically. But then the military begins to grow impatient, seeing that its own methods of retaliation are not effective. It is the military that changes the policy. The new, more ruthless policy pays off. The civilian protest is silenced before it begins. Those who might otherwise have objected, come to accpet what they are told: "This will save lives. It is necessary to end the war sooner, and to punish the unjust aggressor."

The standards of justice are still in view - still partially in view. The injustice of the aggressor is very clearly seen. Justice in the use of means has been lost sight of, and what counts most is expediency....

Needless to say, both were now strenuously arguing and convincing themselves, in exactly the same terms, that their war effort was just, that their methods were just, and that it was necessary to do all that they did in order to win the victory; end the war quickly and "save lives."

Note also, on both sides there were sincere Christians, encouraged by the clergy and by the Christian press to accept and support these claims. There were therefore Christians believing that each side was completely just. Christians on both sides "served God" by killing each other... What had become of the meaning of the doctrine of the "just war?"

merton, in coming to understand the way St. Augustine come to fill out "just war" sees that it is generally good in intention & ideal, but all to easily sucks the person into a scenario that could no longer be claimed as justice at any level. in drawing together a parallel into todays world we have the 'just war' in the war on terrorism & 'gihad' the Islamic holy war. both play historic roles in their respective faiths, but it is easy to see that distortion of these can easily come about and be accepted by masses.

as we look over the landscape of the war on terror, will there be an upscaling of destruction done in the name of 'saving lives?' as the media highlights the failures and some successes of the war, thus putting more and more pressure to feel success by the masses, will that in turn bring pressure to the decisionmaking that takes works to keep the 'justice' part of the war on terror. some may say that it is already passed that point. that is to be argued on another forum.

go figure

The Monk You scored 7% Cardinal, 87% Monk, 47% Lady, and 29% Knight!

You live a peaceful, quiet life. Very little danger comes you way and you live a long time. You are wise and modest, but also stagnant. You have little comfort, little food and have taken a vow of silence. But who needs chatter when just sitting in the cloister of your abbey with The Good Book makes you perfectly content.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 1% on Cardinal You scored higher than 99% on Monk You scored higher than 65% on Lady You scored higher than 8% on Knight

Link: The Who Would You Be in 1400 AD Test

gbcs fall address

i was emailed this recently, jim winkler's fall address to the gbcs. i've glanced at it, but nothing more at the moment (i've been quite busy), however, i figured that i'd share. feel free to commentary on it, i'm sure i will later.

"what is your favorite color?"

i think this might be a test that theresa hasn't taken, yet. this is pretty accurate, not sure about the love magnet thing though.

Your Power Color Is Magenta

At Your Highest: You energize yourself and push others to suceed. At Your Lowest: You feel frustrated and totally overwhelmed. In Love: You are suprised by who you attract. You're a love magnet. How You're Attractive: Open and free spirited, people want to explore the world with you. Your Eternal Question: "What is my next source of inspiration?"

What's Your Power Color?

day 3: contemplation week with merton

..we must say that whether in warfare or in pacifism the Christian is bound to act according to his Christian conscience. There are very strict limits set upon his exercise of the right to defend himself and his nation by force, and there are also strict limits upon his willing submission to evil and to violence...

Our first obligation is to interpret the situation accurately, and this means resisting the temptation to oversimplify and generalize. The struggle against totalitarianism is directed not only against an external enemy - Communism - but also against our own hidden tendencies towards fascist or collectivist aberrations. The struggle against war is not only directed against the bellicosity of the Communist powers, but against our own violence, fanaticism and greed. Of course, this kind of thinking will not be popular in the tensions of a Cold War. No one is encouraged to be too clear-sighted, because conscience can make cowards, by diluting the strong conviction that our side is fully right and the other side is fully wrong. Yet the Christian responsibility is not to one side or the other in the power struggle: it is to God and truth, and to the whole of mankind...

i remember in the days following September 11th i was one of those people who said that, very tragic, but not entirely surprising that a terrorist act happened on our soil & directed towards us. i am not the biggest scholar of foreign policies, but i don't know if we ever do this well as we are always seeing through the perspective of our own social contexts. it's not just a politics thing. talking with some missionaries in africa, there is a real need to not build brick houses as none of the other homes are made of brick (granted it's a different brick than what we are used to). it creates a separation, but the action is done with good will. i don't know if you can, and i'm not sure we need to, separate oneself from their context in order to see clearly. however, if one can embrace a Christian sight, then one is as capable as possible to see with clarity and vision.

The question arises then whether man is really capable of choosing peace rather than nuclear war, whether the choices are ineluctably made for him by the interplay of social forces.

speaking of the current viewpoints (remember, written in the 60's) in the United States & their moral and immoral implications in decision making.

At one extreme we have the "hard" and "realistic" view. It excludes all other considerations and concentrates on one inescapable fact: the Communist threat to western society. It considers that negotiation with Communism is for all practical purposes futile. It is thoroughly convinced that only the strongest pressure will be of any use in stopping Communism and that the victory over Communism by any available means takes precedence over everything else. Hence this "hard" position is in face favorable to nulcear war and makes no distinction between preemption and retaliation, except perhaps to favor preemption as more likely to succeed...

The simplicity and ruthlessness of this view makes an immediate appeal to a very large proportion of the American middle class. It is simple. It is clear. It promises results. It has the advantage above all of permitting disturbed and frustrated people to discharge their anxieties upon a hated enemy and thereby achieve a sense of meaning and satisfaction in their own lives...

A moderate and halfway position, which can be said to be that of the Kennedy administration and of the theologians, politicians and publicists who rightly enjoy respect for their sanity and depth takes the view that we must accept the tensions, the risks and the pressures of the Cold War as facts from which there is no escape. The struggle with Communism must continue over a long period, but it must be prevented from exploding into a nuclear war. And yet "softness" and "defeatism" must also be avoided. Hence the thing to do is to build up one's military strength, not excluding the capacity for a nuclear strike, but also with emphasis on conventional forces. At the same time, peaceful and economic measures are to be taken and aid is to be given to underdeveloped countries in the hope that they will appreciate the opportunities and freedoms we enjoy and which we wish to share with them, thus making them our friends and persuading them to join us in resisting the blandishments of Communism...

Finally there is a left wing idealistic viewpoint that favors more extreme measures for peace and appeals to some who remember the spiritual intransigence of past Christian ages or of oriental religions. This wing is more or less pacifist, ranging from the "nuclear pacifism" of those who reject the use of all nuclear weapons as directly immoral or proximately leading to unjust destruction, to the total pacifism of those who uncompromisingly reject all war whatever. For practical purposes this whole group may be considered as favoring unilateral disarmament, a policy that is not likely to be adopted by either the United States, or still less by Russian and China. In effect, then, this left wing is simply a minority movement of protest and witness...

i find it amazing the similarities of behavior from 40 years ago. certainly looking over the three groups, history shows that pieces of all groups were able to see some 'victories.' much of those 'victories' has to do with a weaving of historic people and events over time. the question i have to ask, why did we not learn which viewpoints had clear vision to achieve a 'success?' it seems to me a hybrid of creative thought & views could help to navigate better than just floating down the same river route.

why two worlds should not collide

i know that jonathon and shane are friends again. however, i'm disturbed to see that shane is now blogging in gangsta. check out the new wesley bizzy.

i should probably throw in that jonathon should get better with his photoshop skills

my understanding of scripture

since my rant, of which i've apologized as predicted, i've enjoyed conversing with craig. in one of our recent email correspondences he asked what my view of scripture was, and secondly how that plays in with the rest of the quadrilateral. i'm glad he asked as it helped me to make space to write down about something that i have not put into words in quite a while. it's not great prose, but it's honest, i thought i'd share.

i suppose i couldn't give a two or three sentence on my understanding and faith of and in the bible. quick sentence would be that i believe the bible is living. i believe in its divine inspiration from God. it is in every essence holy and God breathed, but in it's mystery it changes as my relationship changes. i look to my long committed relationship, the context (or those like you more schooled than i, hermeneutic) of our relationship has changed as we have grown, experienced, gained greater knowledge and depth, frustration, and loved. what is funny though, i learn something new about her almost daily, it might be simple thing, but it's something. i have though, figured some things out, but even then it's not guaranteed. i don't use words like: inerrancy, authority, infallible because to me, that sorta pigeon holes the bible into just being a book of rules & worse yet, completely stagnant. i think it is so much more mysterious, much of the reason why it is so brilliant in reaching so many people in so many ways at all different times of life. 'dyanetics' couldn't be considered of the same relevance for the same reasons, much to reason why there are so many articles and books that espouse scientology thinking.

as a child, what i was confused about for so long is that the bible was presented to me as a book of right and wrongs, i think that was fundamental in my difficulty in understanding, what it was to be & how to be a Christian. it wasn't until i just started reading the bible as this living narrative that i found the text come alive where i have been able to take understandings of truth & rights/wrongs. problem with this, is i've also come to feel so tied to the saints and sinners of the bible narrative that i come up with more questions than i do concrete answers, but i have a few. &:~)

the tradition, reason, experience factors i hold really tight too, because that is what kept me in the church & in faith. i experienced grace first hand and in abundance by the people of my church & family. my reasoning as an analytical person told me that i wasn't some cosmic bashing of atoms but a devine design that i didn't quite understand. the traditions helped to root into my heart faith statement & interaction with God long before i knew him. just to name a few

i think that's an honest me when it comes to scripture, plus more. thanks for asking, i haven't thought about this in awhile, so it's good to put into words.

what i did

i know you are all concerned about my day after such a suspect start. i made it to our staff bible study, that was good, i quite enjoyed it. our staff meeting was a bit much. after the first agenda item took almost an hour (it might have taken a full hour, i just clocked 45 mins for sure) we all knew it was going to be one of those days. 2 hours later (3 if you count the bible study). we started planning for a regular worship meeting after that. from there i listened to voicemail, possibly calling back only one or two people who were absolutely necessary. i stopped by the pumpkin patch, talked with a couple of people. i think i have a leaders for a companions in Christ small group now, that's very good! went to wal-mart and bought some stuff for my office. erin called me while enroute and convinced me that i had to go home. i did after off-loading wal-mart buys. i, however, stopped at every decor shop i could find on gallatin road from hendersonville to madison (for those not from nashville, that's a lot, trust me). i'm home, talked to my mom, talked to erin, jonathon, daniel, and emailed a few folks. played with the dogs some, then they got into their crazy wrestling, so i stopped. think it's time for bed now.

oh, i'll make the coffee house thing next week. that's apparently when most of the youth are going anyways.

a umc first on ebay

i remember reporting on a umc being stolen, that might have been a first. this, for sure is a first. for those who have been defrocked by the methodist church, you can get back at them with this. bid on a 7,000 square foot brick church building. your own united methodist church! you can't go wrong. if you only want the pews, you can bid on them too. even the antique ones. what i find funny is that all items are for 'pick up only' even the church...?

in more unrelated non-news, jonathon apparently can't be understood anymore.

thanks john

what to do?

nothing major here, i'm just sitting here drinking coffee and pondering what it is that i am going to do with today? i know i have staff bible study in an hour, staff meeting after that, and later today the school coffee house, which some of the youth are performing in... but other than that, i'm not sure what or how i'm going to spend my day. i hope i get a clue, cause i don't want to feel unproductive again.

maybe you are like me, you sit at the morning and are just clueless as to what to do. maybe it's just me.

for those who suggest a "to-do list" save that time, i'm enough of an old dog that i just can't learn that trick. i've tried, i've got one, will i follow it? probably not, but maybe.. actually, looking at it.. i've got to cross stuff off of it, they already happened. great, now i've got to think of a new list. this might take all day

day 2: contemplation week with thomas merton

The question is not merely "Where is the nuclear arms race leading us?" or "Can a nuclear war be avoided much longer?" or "Will the Communists take over the West?" or "Will the West win the Cold War?" or "Will the survivors of a nuclear war envy the dead?" From the standpoint of the present volume, such questions are irrelevant. Not that the issues they raise may not be vitally important, but the surmises and conjectures which might be offered as answers to such questions are really not answers to anything. They are beguiling guesses which seek to allay anxiety and which may well threaten to misdirect our best efforts if not to justify actions of which we out to be ashamed.

The more important question is not "what is going to happen to us?" but "what are we going to do?" or more cogently, "What are our real intentions?"

substituting, the obvious historic markers present in this thought to our current situation, changing 'communism' to 'terrorism', 'cold war' or 'nuclear war' to the 'war on terror.' it is amazing to me how i feel that much of the answers given to our current interactions with the war are more of a alignment with anxiety and fear that help to perpetuate an us vs. them and they hit first childish fight. unfortunately, this helps no one to understand, as merton put it, the "answers to anything."

having my brother in iraq, and having some knowledge (beyond the mainstream otherwise agenda'd media), with the dynamics of a tyrannical and fear based government & a radical group of Islam, i've come to an understanding that our participation in this war, may not be, but it should be, something of much deeper depth than 'weapons of mass destruction.'

wmd's do not do justice to the need to protect ourselves. honestly, even when pitched by colin powell in front of the united nations, it never seemed like a big deal of "what is going to happen to us?" but yet, since the weapons have not surfaced to the sheer numbers that frightens people, people have now turned coat and said "why are we there?"

if we started asking questions like "what are our real intentions?" & "what are we going to do?" then our response would be, something of the affect of to be, that we are a Christian state that does support humanitarianism and seeks to enable the world's population. then, if it is our true intention to be this way, our answer to "what are we going to do?" should reflect, not just a war on terror (i won't be shortsighted to say that we cannot completely dismiss a need for arming, at least not right now) but some also major efforts that are constant which help to take away the symptoms that promote human suffering.

after erin read & we discussed, between two worlds, a woman's account (www.womenforwomen.org) of a life in the shadow of saddam (she gives this a must read tag). there was quite a need to address the fear and horror that went with the past regime. shawn, has mentioned in conversation that this level of fear is very prevalent still & is something that has been present for generations, & it might just take some generations to rid themselves of it. i'm encouraged to know that his time there has not just times of being a soldier for humankind. unfortunately, we might have been looking out for number one, or too confused to act responsibly decades ago when the prior regime was taking power or began to corrupt it's power.

beyond our current war on terror. what happens to ideals of dispelling poverty? if we are to be our brothers keeper, then i should hope "what are we going to do?" becomes a response to pushing for the medical and nourishment needs of those in third world countries, educating our child population, making sure we have adequate health care, etc. (i could go on and on and replicate many different agenda items). my inclination is to say that, we have the resources, abilities, and creativity to really do the things that quell a those things that promote fear, anger, hostility, mistrust, etc. we've just possibly been asking the wrong questions?

GodBlogCon

so there was a conference for spiritual bloggers. joel apparently was there checking it out as well is dj. there's a quick article from the guardian (uk) on the conference too. i found a few quotes & seperate observations interesting.

quotes:

Matt Anderson, 23, the coordinator of the God Blog Convention, told the news channel's website that one of the goals of the conference was to see whether God, Christian-oriented blogging and politics were a good marriage, and if so, how they should match up.

Joe Carter, author of evangelicaloutpost.com and one of the delegates at the conference, compared Christian blogging to the 95 Theses said to have been posted by Martin Luther..

observations:

• funny how we still feel the need to congregate as a community (actually a few of us methodist bloggers are working on getting the umcom to support a methoblog gathering)
• is blogging really this important? (ref. to the 95 thesis comment)
• i don't find Christianity and politics to be a good marriage at any level
• i wonder if people took notes, networked, or just blogged about being at the conference
• joel has a great reflection in bloggin about "we"

John Calvin added a lot to Christianity, even as I disagree with Calvinist theology that grew up around him. However, in Calvin’s zeal to promote his brand of God’s grace, he became responsible for the deaths of several of his critics. I don’t see Christian bloggers killing each other literally, but if we aren’t careful, we can inflict deep personal and spiritual wounds on each other. (he goes on from there with john wesley & martin luther)

for a first event, i suppose it's a start. i won't get to passionate about it beyond that.

teresa of avila on community

It is a great advantage for us to be able to consult someone who knows us, so that we may learn to know ourselves.

Teresa of Avila

contemplation week with thomas merton

i am spending this week with my favorite contemplative, thomas merton. with some of what dean & don have shared lately i was draw to a writing of merton's that has only just now been published. "peace in the post-christian era" was written as a response to the nuclear war build-up & the cold war in the early 60's. this series of articles was not published in mass, because the head abbot of the trappist monks at that time felt it was taking away from the work of the monk. monks are not to meddle with politics as that is something 'of this world' and not part of a holy vocation. still, merton felt an intense need to have the book circulated so it was done in a more grassroots publication. the parallels between his writing of the buildup of war in the 60's and today is eerily similar. it's funny how history repeats itself. so i am inviting you to spend some time with my favorite contemplative as we struggle with peace, in a post-christian era.

[speaking of war]..how can we do this at at time when moral values have been to a great extent discarded as meaningless and when Christians themselves ignore or evade the compelling exigencies of Christian ethics in this matter? Unless it is possible to consider these urgent problems in a climate of tolerance, objectivity, restraint and respect for human rights, we will never come near solving them. And this climate of tolerance and justice will be frankly impossible where the atmosphere of Christian humanism and charity is lacking.

to begin with, it seems to me that first and foremost, we have so much wrong in our society that we cannot come to a clear understanding of why we have a level of fear that perpetuates our very souls. our understanding of neighbor and love are so convoluted that when we talk of peace and justice, humanitarianism, we, in most cases, have no idea what that really means. peace and justice is more about peace and justice for ourselves, humanitarianism is something that we do to make ourselves feel better, not because we are a Christian or a Christian state.

hasidic reggae

jonathon just showed me this site of matisyahu: hasidic reggae superstar. at first it was funny, but upon further review, it's pretty good. i may be into my next genre of music.
eric coomer eat your heart out

prayer appointed for the week

Lord, I pray that your grace may always precede and follow me, that i may continually be given to good works; through Jesus Christ my Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen
Divine Hours, Autumn & Winter

the morning office

i spent this morning at the upperroom. it wasn't planned, i had met with jonathon for our weekly tuesday clowns meeting, but adam or sally couldn't make & jonathon had to leave early. so, after doing morning prayers at alektor i walked over to the upperroom and spent a good hour and half in the chapel & museum.

i've been to the ur a number of times, but every time the museum and chapel have been closed for varied reasons. i'm glad this was my first time successfully stopping by. i was all by myself in the chapel staring at this huge wooden picture of last supper. it's a replica of the picture painted by davinci, i am sure many have seen it. one thing i noticed is that there wasn't a chalice and bread.. not sure i've ever cared to notice before, but i suppose i assumed it would be there, guess that is all part of that davinci code junk.

as i sat in silence, i spent time going through the upperroom devotional for the day.

Let Tears Flow

Read Psalm 39

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

-Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV)

A high wall outside of an English village was the first place I saw "weep holes." In various places, small holes were made in the mortar between the stones. Were it not for these holes, the water that collects behind the mortar could build up such pressure that eventually the wall would burst.

I can relate to the need for such holes -- and not just in walls. When family problems began to cause tremendous turmoil, I tried to be strong and control my emotions. As time went on, what I was holding inside only increased my anxiety. Eventually, as I cried out to God in prayer, seeking help and answers, the tears flowed. What a great relief to release the pressure built up inside of me!

In chaotic circumstances, I don't have to be anxious. Even when I can't put my needs and feelings into words, God hears my prayers -- or just the cry of my heart -- and knows what I need. God is willing to meet that need in the right way, at the right time. I can thank and trust God, who guards my heart and mind in Christ Jesus.

Carolyn Schemahorn (Missouri, U.S.A.)

Dear God of peace, our trust is in you. Help us to wait patiently for you to answer us in your time and your way. Help us show peace and hope to others. Amen.

i remember being a teen trying to use the upperroom devotionals to keep that daily habit. i saw it as a habit though and i kicked the habit sometime soon after starting. i still, however, have a wonderful appreciation for the devotions. they are timeless.

the museum was cool. it was strange mix of cherished pieces of art and Christian artifact mixed in with some things that i could probably buy at a flee market. one of the big deals there are the many nativity sets. i really liked two, the celtic & wooden puzzle ones, probably because of their simplicity.

i checked out the bookstore and picked up some more of the 'classics' and then headed off to the office. no great epiphanies, no solving the worlds problems, but it was a great morning office.

 

JW2010

john wants to get a genetically engineered supreme court justice based off of serpentor. me, i don't care so much for politics, but the methodist church could use a genetically enhanced John Wesley.

so i introduce to you the John Wesley 2010 model. he's got classic anglican wig, discernment vision, retro cool garmet (that is hip with old and new methodists), bible toting man purse (not visible, but it's there), flame cross breast plate, & circuit rider jet pack. this is just the first model of JW2010, i invite you to throw in your upgrades.

brought to you via heromachine : thanks ian

where did all this come from

i wonder what happened when i was gone from full-time youth work, but since i've come back to a full program staff position with the church i've noticed i get more and more mail about the big worship concert events.

many of you could guess that i'm not big on the big worship event that is more like a concert event. however, it's not a bad thing every once in awhile for the youth. i certainly enjoy our once a year weekend event our conference puts on, plus the youth get a lot out of the fellowship & sometimes the workshop. i'm curious though if people go to these one after the other in order to fill that spiritual high. is there a subculture that is coming out where spirituality has to be garnered in the form of a rock concert? if my stack of mail indicates anything, there is a demand for this concert church.

good grief

You are Charlie Brown!

Which Peanuts Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

thanks: revmom

more to come

i upgraded my typepad account to add in some new video and podcast ideas in the future. for now, it's all about new photo albums.

get to know me thing

thanks jay.. i think? i'm the only one who might actually do this from your list
Getting to Know Me…
5 things I plan to do before I die:
1. be married and have children
2. find my way to base camp @ everest
3. hot air balloon ride
4. travel through africa
5. backpack the appalachian trail

5 things I can do:
1. play guitar
2. damage control
3. go into a burning building
4. crawl through a cave
5. throw people off cliffs

5 things I cannot do:
1. play party songs w/ guitar
2. clean my house as much as i want to
3.  eat slowly
4. play this didgeridoo that i bought
5. balance the national budget

5 things that attract me to members of the opposite sex
1. attractiveness
2. intelligence
3. casual style
4. silliness
5. outgoing

5 things I say most often:
1. huh?
2. what's that mean?
3. listen up!!
4. I Love You
5. Crimson! Crimson! (calling for my dog)

5 celebrity crushes: (don't have any, really, but these come to mind)
1.  alyssa milano (who didn't)
2. melissa stark (have to love a good lookin woman who can talk football)
3. jennifer knapp (i used to call myself her stalker)
4. michelle branch/vanessa carlton (i think they're the same person, one guitar one piano, that rocks, wait, they look a lot like jennifer knapp.. whoa!)
5. some lady that was on melrose place i had a crush on years ago.. what was her name?

5 people I want to do this:
1. daniel greeson
2. dean snyder
3. lynnette davidson
4. sam davidson
5. shane raynor

mountain-top.org (sorta)

it's somewhere in server-land now, but the new mountain t.o.p. website should be showing up on a browser near you. you may see the new site, you may receive an error message, or you may receive an 'under construction' page. john says it takes a bit for address changes to make through various servers. i guess he's right, but i'm impatient. great thanks to music city web design for putting the site together. the content pieces are still coming, but i'm excited to have something better up.

the farmer in me

welcome to my new life as a farmer.. well sorta, i've picked pumpkins once and that's enough for me.

for those of you who work in youth min. you know this fundraiser. i've inherited the pumpkin patch & so far.. i'm kinda happy with it, i get these three hour blocks of time where i get to sit & read, watch children get excited running around mounds of pumpkins, parents taking pictures, and meeting some of the other folks from the church that i have yet to build a relationship. nouwen, ties that in Christian fundraising it is all about relationships and just as important as a sermon or prayer. this one, it may be time consuming, it truly is something that brings a community to a happier place.

feast of Saint Francis day

in honor of today being the feast of Saint Francis day

shortly after his conversion, the humble servant of Christ, Saint Francis, having already gathered many companions and received them into the order, was anxious and doubtful about what he should do. Should he devote himself wholly to prayer or sometimes also to preaching? he greatly desired to know the will of God concerning this question. because of his holy humility, he did not want to trust himself or his own prayer for an answer, so he decided to seek the divine will through the prayers of others.

he called Brother Masseo to him and said, “go to Sister Clare and tell her in my name that, together with her most spiritual companions, she should devoutly pray God to show me whether it is better that i give myself to preaching or to prayer alone. then go to Brother Sylvester and tell him to do the same.” Brother Sylvester was so devout and holy that in prayer he prevailed with God and all that he asked was granted. he talked often with God. Therefore Saint Francis was greatly devoted to him.

Brother Masseo departed and, according to the request of Saint Francis, went to Saint Clare and then to Brother Sylvester. Brother Sylvester immediately started to pray, and while he was praying, he obtained the divine answer. He turned to Brother Masseo and said, “this is what God says to Brother Francis: God has not called him for himself alone, but that he may bear much fruit of souls, and that many through him may be saved.” when he heard that, Brother Masseo returned to Saint Clare, to know what answer she had received from God. She replied that she and the other companions had the same answer from God as the one that Brother Sylvester received. Brother Masseo returned to Saint Francis, who welcomed him with much love, washing his feet and setting food before him. when he had eaten, Saint Francis called Masseo into the woods. there Saint Francis kneeled down before him and drew back his cowl. making a cross of his arms, he asked, “what does my Lord Jesus Christ bid me do?” Brother Masseo answered, “to Brother Sylvester as to Sister Clare and to her companions, Christ revealed that his will is for you to go through the world and preach, because he has chosen you not for yourself alone but also for the salvation of others.”

then Saint Francis rose up with great fervor and said, “let us go in the name of God.” he took as his companions Brother Masseo and Brother Angelo, holy men. Going impetuously, with no thought of way or path....

this is easily one of my favorite stories of the saints. the story goes on to tell of Saint Francis’s preaching, the infamous preaching to the birds, how everyone was ready to drop all they had to follow him yet he told them to not act hastily.. it is a wonderful narrative of a spiritual life lived.

i enjoy this beginning of Saint Francis’s storied life because it has that level of confusion that so many of us bring to the table. he cannot decide if his life with God or holy vocation should be of prayer or preaching. instead of just doing his own decision making he puts it to a trusted group of friends who know him and know God to help discern. when the prayers of the friends yields the same response, he wastes no time in jumping into his calling.

what would happen if we put many of our life decisions and understandings of God into the hands of, not just our own understandings, but to those of the community of God that surrounds us?

we're not like them

so i took a little liberty in grouping some groupings and jonathon called me on it. it made me laugh and then i thought of a scene from a fav movie. it goes something like this.

who are you?
we are the "judean peoples front."
the "peoples front of judea" great!
no no no, we're not like the "peoples front of judea" we are the "judean peoples front" the "pfj" is over there we don't associate with them.
okay.. who is that guy?
he's the "judean people's popular front"

for those who remember "life of brian" the third full length film of monty python it's a satirical look at biblical days. if you are like me then you gained many new views to spiritual life like walking with one shoe & "blessed are the cheesemakers." this particular segment was a pun of the many revolutionary groups of the 70's by showing similar groups against roman occupation going against themselves more than they actually are going against the real empire that needs attention.

if the old adage goes "do not forget your history, lest we repeat ourselves" rings true then we might want to watch some of our old movies as "some of the most serious things are said in jest." with, in the methodist church, a confessing movement, reconciling ministries network, good news, ird, methodist federation for social action, general board of church and society, etc.

certainly all our groups facilitate a function. but what is that function? if our function is to point and say, "we are not like them" or "you don't want to associate with them" then are we not getting away from the greatest commandments of Christ, love God and love thy neighbor as you love "the judean peoples front."

i'm confused...

so i'm reading this article, you never know what you'll find on google news, and i was sorta baffled and then sorta like "that makes sense" then baffled again. i suppose i wasn't surprised to come to the end of the article and find this:

Rev. William E. Alberts, Ph.D. is a hospital chaplain. Both a Unitarian Universalist and a United Methodist minister, he has written research reports, essays and articles on racism, war, politics and religion.

i'm not sure how you can be unitarian universalist & united methodist.. from what i know that doesn't mix (although i've been accused of being universalist with my listening / discernment claims). i guess though, if i ever get ordained united methodist then i'll have to be universalist methodist, being that i got ordained online.

a lawyer, cough, judge that i could like

so with the nomination of harriet miers, i was at first confused that a lawyer could instantly be raised to the level of supreme court justice without prior judge-ship. however, with being nominated by a republican president, some approval from democrats, and some unrest from conservative politicians.. i think i'm sorta encouraged that this might be a great pick to fill that moderate voice that Justice Sandra Day O'Conner was for so many years.