is church too feminine?

natalie has some thoughts off a umc.org article on the subject

i call it bogus article time could have been better spent covering a methodist president meeting a critical leader in some of our churches social justice endeavors but instead we get an article on this guy's thoughts..

"He must watch his language, mind his manners and be extra polite," Murrow writes in his popular 2005 book, Why Men Hate Going to Church. That's because the altar flowers and felt banners, mostly female Sunday school teachers and blue-haired ladies playing the organ, all make church feel like a "woman's thing." And unless a man enjoys serving on a committee or passing out bulletins, he may feel there's not much for him to do, so he steers clear.

Comments

[David]

Gavin,
So how do we hold an online debate. The article was not written by David Murrow - whom you quote, but Robin Russell, a woman.
She makes some very valid points and directs the church to be challenged. Murrow does seem to have some bigger bones to pick - albeit a little unneccesary.

"If church was a place where men could be real and not religious, you'd see a lot more of them," he concludes. (Murrow)

I would hope that it is, but unfortunately many of our churches forget the real and enter fantasy land during worship. (I'm guilty too)

But he really went off the deep end, and may have been done a severe injustice by Russell with this quote.

"Every Muslim man knows that he is locked in a great battle between good and evil," he recently told Religion News Service. But most Christians today see their faith more in terms of "having an unconditional love relationship" with Jesus, he said.

It isn't about the battle or the loving relationship, it is about how we carry those out. Islam does a very good job of laying out how to "work" in that battle, while the loving relationship is less often portrayed as "work", because we cannot earn our way into heaven, which Islam promotes.

Truth is, men in the church are on the decline and we have got to develop a reasoned understanding of why (especially difficult when men are hard pressed to identify feelings - on the whole, a generalization I know) to better incorporate both men and women's styles of worship in our services, and our outreach, and our studies.

Enough of my opening diatribe. Maybe I'll post on my blog for more input.

Peace,
DC

[gavin]

dc, i quoted the murrow stuff because it is part of the basis for the article. i noticed who wrote it. and how much of the pains of the men were centered around isolated worship experiences or cultures (ala. praise and worship).

i think the problem isn't addressed in the article as to why men went to church in the first place. and that is probably historically sociological. the church was the hub for activity within the community, business and society. to be an achieving man who was the symbol for the family you went to church to participate in that life of the community. this isn't the case anymore, the markers for a good family, nice home, recreation, social parties, etc. very little of that centers around the life of the church. so the question then is asked, what does the church offer a man? faith has already been individualized, so there is no need for a community to help build the faith back up, or is it, see the movement of small groups to help nurture people.

[Mike]

So, because we work at churches, does that make us too feminine as well???

[David]

Mike - Maybe so...but what is too feminine? Then again I have heard that the metrosexual is on his way out.

Gavin - Todd M posted a comment on my blog with his thoughts on the subject and it was helpful and true. Lately I have been addressing some of the same question, though in a different vein - where does networking happen anymore. You point out it used to be the church. That is no longer true. It rotated into the service club sector, but those clubs are now on the decline too, so where are the connections being made? If we can answer this question we may very well understand better how to do so in our churches.

Peace,
DC