problem with being pastor

today marks the end of stand up against poverty, month of action. with this event ending, poverty doesn't end, but it conflicts with me as i have come to find that one of the greater hindrances of doing the things that i consider to be missional and aiding to relieve the ills of poverty is the church.

honest, as a pastor i find myself spending time maintaining the daily stuff of the youth ministries of the church. this may just be for now, as this month we are selling pumpkins fundraising for our ministries which keeps me close by. we have two retreats coming up in the next few weeks, my own personal family reunion, and then advent which is always a busy time in the life of the church.

i don't blame the church, but i have these moments of frustration that maintaining the church can really hinder a missional life. now, my missional life might be the people of the church, i can, and do, accept that. however, if i can't lead a life that i think Christ is calling us all to be how does one model that? how does one teach that.

maybe this comes back to ongoing argument of ministry versus program... i don't know

over the summer i had probably one of my more powerful experiences of life in Christ as i played with some of our less privileged children of nashville. i had no answers for these kids & youth, so i just played, talked, read to, and joked with them praying God was moving through them & me. i would love to continue to allow those relationships grow, but i can't seem to get out and do that.

thanks for putting up with my ramble. shalom, -g

Comments

[Jennifer Freeman]

This may sound like a bad idea, but I wonder if you can make a conscious habit of mixing your missional life with your everyday church ministries, each time you are planning something for the youth. Could you encourage the youth in whatever they're doing in your church to always think of some 10% off-the-top spinoff in time or money or effort that would help the poor or others in some way? Like, considering donating 10% of the money from the pumpkin sales to some need outside of the church before using the money for the folks inside the church, just like we're supposed to do with our own money. Or give some pumpkins away to families who couldn't afford one. Or spend at least an hour of the retreat time writing to, making a card for, or visiting someone who is lonely or sick - always mixing "outside" folks in some way with your ministries and prayers. It would let the kids know what was truly important and how they should think as they think about everyday things as they get older. These ideas might not work but something else that you think of might; I just had a really strong feeling after reading your post that there's a consistent way to do the youth ministry there that would benefit your desire to do mission and would also set a good example for your youth, something so consistent that it would change the way they think for their entire lives. My dad said that if the church expects people to give 10% or more to the church, then the church needs to set a strong example first by always giving 10% or more to the needy in the community or organizations that help the needy. His words have stayed with me.

[gavin]

thanks jennifer, i didn't express this part in my ramble, but yesterday as i was feeling this way one of the thoughts/conclusions that i came too was that i don't have the time to focus on what can be done (specifically locally, i know what i can do with a 20 minute drive to nashville)... thanks for the ideas, that is helpful and very welcomed.

to note: i had the pumpkin ministry thing in the head yesterday as i practically gave away an assortment to an alzheimers nurse for the people in her care.

[Sam]

Join with fellow heretics like myself and kiss the institution goodbye! Wander with us as we feed hungry people and go to the movies. Live deeply in community as we hang out and get to know each other. Of course, there's no paychecks, but there's no budget, either! Follow the crowd! Be a renegade! Lose the robe! Si se puede!

[Craig Moore]

Gav
Sam has a point, to really live a missional life like Jesus did you really need to get out of the institutional church. Jesus told one guy that "foxes have homes, but I don't have anywhere to lay my head at night."

It is a struggle being a pastor and wanting to proclaim the gospel to a secular culture with good deeds, but you get bogged down in "church work" to church members who think the pastor should spend all his time caring for them. Trying to do both is much work and only a few have the energy to do it, but if you don't you will never get the church out of the building and into the world.

[gavin]

thanks sam, your vote of confidence is encouraging. as craig mentioned, this missional mindset it easier to accomplish outside the institution of the church. however, i'm not willing to leave the church, there has to be some way. i don't know how that way is yet, but i have faith that it will come around. i probably need to be more intentional in a lot of things than i have been as of late (to be honest, my mind has been all kinds of places). it's possible i'm sure, but just not feeling it at the moment.

[Sam]

Hang it up, Gavo! Sell your possessions and live in a teepee and eat off the land! Stop blogging and recycle your entire life! Burlap and barley will be your new friends! Wear leather belts and sackcloth and eat locusts! In Jesus' name!

[gavin]

can it be abercrombie leather belt & sackcloth? &:~D

[Jonathon Norman]

i think i hear a voice crying out in the wilderness...

[Jennifer Freeman]

Just like there's a danger in local church folks isolating themselves from other people outside of church, I think maybe there's a danger, too, in thinking that people who go to church don't need shepherding or anything else. People inside the church have the same deep down needs as people outside the church. We're all different but we're all the same, too. The first situation of church folks isolating themselves is an us-them mentality, but there's a danger in having a me-them-them mentality, too. I was one of the people outside of church that churches wouldn't find glamorous at all to help, and the institutional church has been great for me for the last years since I first visited. I'm learning how to be a disciple, learning how to get along with people who have different opinions and beliefs than I do, learning to be more independent as a disciple, learning how to read the Bible, learning how to trust Christians, learning a whole different way to believe. So I don't think the institutional church is bad. It has helped to save my life. People who are a part of a church don't just morph into good disciples without any problems at all upon joining a church, and I think that for everyone to be a wandering disciple would leave some folks feeling abandoned. I know for myself I need a large family around me. So I think rather than demonizing the institutional church, that we all have to realize that some people need the institutional church in order to grow. People are different and need different things, and people who help people have different gifts and thrive in different situations. I think as in everything else we do, balance is key. As long as church folks are being encouraged to have their own ministries reaching out and helping others and have strong consistent examples of this from the church, without the church isolating itself or promoting isolation, I don't see that it's bad.

[gavin]

well said jennifer. erin reminded me the other night that i tell the kids, being confused is a good place to be. this post we suppose is reflective that i'm in a good place. &:~D

[Thomas McKenzie]

I think Eugene Peterson says it better than I do, so I'm posting what he wrote:

But many Christians would look at this church and say it's dead, merely an institutional expression of the faith.

What other church is there besides institutional? There's nobody who doesn't have problems with the church, because there's sin in the church. But there's no other place to be a Christian except the church. There's sin in the local bank. There's sin in the grocery stores. I really don't understand this naïve criticism of the institution. I really don't get it.

Frederick von Hugel said the institution of the church is like the bark on the tree. There's no life in the bark. It's dead wood. But it protects the life of the tree within. And the tree grows and grows and grows and grows. If you take the bark off, it's prone to disease, dehydration, death.

So, yes, the church is dead but it protects something alive. And when you try to have a church without bark, it doesn't last long. It disappears, gets sick, and it's prone to all kinds of disease, heresy, and narcissism.

In my writing, I hope to recover a sense of the reality of congregation—what it is. It's a gift of the Holy Spirit. Why are we always idealizing what the Holy Spirit doesn't idealize? There's no idealization of the church in the Bible—none. We've got two thousand years of history now. Why are we so dumb?

[Sam]

Yes, abercrombie is accepted. But not American Eagle. It's so last year.

[Sally Chambers]

I think of that conversation we had years ago ... hah! But more I think of Mary and Martha ... I think of Psalm 131... I think of TS Eliot's poem, Ash Wednesday ... we have to learn to care about those things that are important and do away with everything else. We worry about so much, but only one thing is needed... I shall not try to concern myself with things greater than I ...

but it's a rough road...