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December 27, 2007

for my sista

one of the underlying stories over Christmas was my sister-in-law being on the phone for many reasons. her father was given days to live and placed into hospice care. he had been battling a cancer for the last year. it was not too long after her mother passed away that they found her fathers cancer. some time late in the week before Christmas they had given him days to live. so she was on the phone with her step-mom, and dad at a time, mostly air travel companies.

today she travels to new mexico (i think, could be arizona) to meet up with her step-mom & dad with the anticipation that this will be the last days for him. it saddens me, i cannot imagine a world without my parents, though i know it will happen at some point, i still cannot imagine it in my heart. with this looming i randomly ran across these words from henri nouwen which gives some interesting perspective

One of the greatest gifts we can offer our family and friends is helping them to die well.  Sometimes they are ready to go to God but we have a hard time letting them go. But there is a moment in which we need to give those we love the permission to return to God, from whom they came. We have to sit quietly with them and say: "Do not be afraid ... I love you, God loves you ... it's time for you to go in peace. ... I won't cling to you any longer ... I set you free to go home ... go gently, go with my love." Saying this from our heart is a true gift. It is the greatest gift love can give.

When Jesus died he said: "Father, into your hands I commit my Spirit" (Luke 23:46). It is good to repeat these words often with our dying friends. With these words on their lips or in their hearts, they can make the passage as Jesus did.

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So true. I had this experience with my Dad earlier this year. He passed away a few hours after I spoke my last words to him. I'm so thankful I could share that moment with him telling him I loved him and that it was okay for him to go on to glory, one I didn't share with my mother.

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